‘Why I danced with ex-president Obasanjo – Patience Jonathan’

10 Apr 2016

‘Why I danced with ex-president Obasanjo – Patience Jonathan’


in Abakaliki Gerraautt. The duo were seen dancing together closely, an act which any Nigerian would have argued about as Obasanjo is believed not to have supported her husband, Goodluck Jonathan’s bid for second term.

Azuka Jebose Molokwu in this hilarious piece to Sahara Reporters shares his views on what is going on between Obasanjo and Patience Jonathan.


Hello, this is Jebose. Can I help you? Eh, Jebose, na who you dey yarn Amerikana for. You nor sabi my namba again. Oloshi. Hehehe. My mommy. The mommy of all mommies.

Gerraautt. Who be your mommy. Your mama dey for una Onicha Ugbo grave. I beg nor mommy me.

Mommyyyy… you mellow this morning o. Hope nothing dey pa?.How far mommy. This one wey you call me so for early mor mor Sharraap. You nor happy I call you?. I hia say youritebuku say Waiting for my hosbansto die. Na which womans dey wait for imhosbans to peme?. Na wa for you and dat buku.You go sell so?

READ ALSO: Obasanjo Is An Overgrown Child – Soyinka

Haba madam. How you take don hia nah… I be wan ask make you waka come be Chief Launcher na! But you jus comot word for my mouth Dat your smelly smellymaut. You dey aks me who tells me. You forget say I befes lady. Ideyhiaeferythins about my friends

Eyyaaahh!!! So I be your friend. You come leave me go waka dey dance with baba Iyabo. Na wa o, madam. You fall my hand sha. Friends don’t let friends dance with retired Presidents na.

Jebose if I slap you?. Idiot. I say you be nonsense pikins. Scaliwag like you. Make me I dance with you?. Church rat of Onicha Ugbo. Hmmm. It is not your folt o. I swear. Na mecarry my Etisalat begin call your yeye China made Nokia flipu fone. Alakoba

Madam the tin wey pain me be say you come dey hold baba iyabo tight sef for dance floor. I beg where Oga Jonathan dey wey you dey tap agbalagba current? Oloriburuku omo ale. If i hole am nkor. Na only me waka come nah. Jebose, wetinkonsanyou if i dance hole tait with Daddi Iyabo. I say wetinkonsan you. You nor be my hosbans. Or you be my boifrens?.Mscheeww.. which kain korent you say I tabu… baba nor getkorent o. Eh. Madam cool down nah. Make I talk my own. Body just dey pain me. How old man go dey gbadun you like dat and I dey hia dey dream and provoke.

READ ALSO: Jonathan Writes Letter To Obasanjo, Addresses Him ‘Dear Baba’

Jelosi don kee Jebose. I go report you to Alhaja. Daleru. You wan scatter my hause. I begwetin you get. Wai I go dance with you?. You wey be Common reporter. You nor get agbarareach baba OBJ. You nor be former presidence of Naija two timeses. One weybe soja boy and the other be civilian presidence wey we waka enter democrasi. You nor get money. You nor sabi plenty peoples. You nor get korneshion… Common buy recharge card for youryeye Glo line, you nor get money for recharge. Your fine gel pikin still dey drink SMA made in Alaba. Make you hianau. Baba Iyabo naim get Naija. Na only him fit tell EFCC make dem free me and my hosbans Jonathan. Baba Iyabo be power and privilege. You na jusgbeborun. So anyhow baba want, I go dash am. If your bodi dey pain you, go aks your papa PMB make im give you APC melesine. See as unadabaru Nigeria since your papa come with jibitishange. I beg Jebose, levu don shange. Free me. Let me be. Daddi Iyabo bemy latest besfrens. If you like you can go and die. I nor send you.

Hia… mommy so na so you go take do me. Remember sha, no condition is permanent o. I fit be President tomorrow Hehehehehehe…makeuna see Jebose O… Egba mi O. You, be President tomorrow?. Make you sidondia dey wait for tomorrow nah. Your own kondishionnapamanencebecos since I sabi you, you never shange: You still dey live for that your foolish face me, I face you room and parlor for Mushin, deyque for 4a.m in the morin to go shit and baffbecosnaonly one toilet and baffroomdey for the face me I face you hause. And you don live for the same hause since I sabi you. So your own kondishiondeypamanence…

Madam, God dey O. All this dance you are sharing, Dia is Allah O Which Allah? Omashe o. So Alhaja donkonvashion you to Muslim?. Eyyaahh. Your own don finish. No wonder I see dat foto wey you be like Almajiri for Kano. No wonder you dey follow PMB. You see unaself?. Pesin nor see pentro. Nigerians dey sofa. Your broda, Kachikwu wey dem put in charge of our oyel say im nor be majishan… Nigerians nor geteletriciti to charge fone. Pentro nor dey to enjoi life ni ilewa. God don ponishuna weycomot my hosban. Una don seeshangenah. Very soon una go begin see credit. I beg I wancall Daddi Iyabo make I see where the nest parrydey so I go dance with am. Jebose, comotfor my fone, I beg. Gerraaauutt. CLICK.

This article expresses the author’s opinion only. The views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily represent those of Naij.com or its editors.

READ ALSO: How My Father Made Love To My Wife – Gbenga Obasanjo

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News Source: NAIJ, 9jaTales

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